Warning: Sex is mentioned here, although not explicitly. You have been warned!
Q. Do asexuals experience sexual arousal?
A. To be honest, it is not uncommon for an asexual person to experience sexual arousal. To be even more honest, this was one of my own first questions about asexuality, because I really believed that asexuals never experience sexual arousal. But some of us do! Granted, there are some asexuals who never or rarely experience sexual arousal in their lifetime. But it is possible for us to experience it as well!
Q. So, do asexuals have libido/low sex drive?
A. The answer is that some of us do and some of us don't. Not all asexuals have a low sex drive! Asexuality, as I have mentioned, simply means that we experience no sexual attraction at all. However, there are asexuals who report having a high sex drive!
So, don't classify all asexuals into one category! We're each unique, just like any other person in another sexual orientation is unique!
Q. Do asexuals believe all sex is wrong?
A. Once again, each asexual is different! The only thing we all really share in common is our lack of sexual attraction. So some asexuals may believe all sex is wrong, some asexuals may believe all sex is socially acceptable, and others believe certain sex options are okay whilst others are wrong (and I think most of you will be relieved to find out that most asexuals fall into the last two categories!).
However, asexuals themselves may not desire sex at all because of a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, even if they have a partner. As I have previously said, each asexual is different and unique. Some will be completely okay with having sex. Others will not be completely accepting. Each and every one of us are different in beliefs, just like with other sexual orientations!
Q. It sounds like Asexuality is caused by some trauma or mental illness. Is my assumption correct?
A. People who are traumatized by any event in their life don't necessarily have no sexual attraction. Asexuality isn't caused by a traumatizing event, nor is it caused by an illness. Many people who have been through traumatizing events still self-identify as their original sexual orientation. Just like many people with mental illness feel sexually attracted towards the same or opposite sex.
However, what can happen with a traumatizing event is that the person begins questioning their sexual orientation. This doesn't make them asexual. A person who is traumatized by rape can become sex-repulsed, but sex-repulsed and the lack of sexual attraction are two entirely different issues. Sex-repulsion is something which even people who have never been traumatized can go through, people who forever identify as heterosexual and homosexual yet feel afraid of sex or try to deny its existence. Asexuality does not mean this, but simply a lack of sexual attraction. As I have mentioned, many asexuals are excited about having sex for the first time. They're just not sexually attracted to anyone in particular.
Q. So Asexuality is not comparable with sex-repulsion?
A. Correct. Although an asexual person, like anyone else, can feel sex-repulsed, this does not mean that every asexual is sex-repulsed.
Q. But shouldn't asexuals not identify as asexual until they have had sex?
A. Not necessarily. Many heterosexuals and homosexuals already identify as such without ever having sex.
Q. When should you identify as asexual?
A. If you feel certain you are asexual, then you can make the decision to identify as one! But sometimes it's best not to identify as one at a young age, in my opinion. I know several people who never felt sexual attraction until they were between the ages of 16 and 18. In my opinion, it's best to wait around that time to see if you are truly asexual. But if you're a 14 year old who is certain that you're asexual, feel free to self-identify as such! The "age group decision" is more of an opinionated idea than anything else, because many heterosexuals identify as heterosexual once they turn 12, and the same goes with other sexual orientations. It's really your decision to make.
Well, I have to go right now. Hope this has helped you a lot in discovering the truth about Asexuality!
God bless,
Ximena
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