Coming Out (somewhat!)

So, just recently I went to Confession and confessed to the priest that I wasn't even heterosexual. I didn't state that I was a bi-romantic asexual, so I think he thought I was homosexual when I told him I had feelings for a girl. And I asked him if it was a sin (because that was what I didn't understand at all). He told me that it wasn't a sin at all, and that the Catholic Church doesn't discriminate me because of my desires. Instead, they have a group for individuals like me (or what he probably thought were me, aka homosexuals).

Now I really didn't just discover all of this. The only new thing I discovered was that it isn't a sin for me to have a crush on a girl. Other than that, I knew the rest. I know that the Catholic Church doesn't discriminate against me. I know the Catholic Church doesn't consider homosexuality a sin, but rather considers the desire "disordered" just like how other desires towards wrong are disordered, (e.g. a priest lusting over a married woman).

But as I confessed to the priest, I felt a relief off my shoulders. I know he told me to remain celibate, but I don't think he realizes that celibacy isn't going to be my problem in later life (that's okay though! I wouldn't have realized it either). After all, I've never been sexually attracted to either sex in my life. I've only been romantically attracted to both guys and girls.

No, one of my main problems right now (and in later life, of course) is telling my parents about it. No kidding, they're great parents! Very holy people and the best parents I could've asked for. But, they both believe that homosexuality is a person's choice. They often tell me stories of how people who are homosexual somehow become straight and apply this logic to all homosexuals. I don't completely disagree with that logic (after all, I just might turn straight tomorrow or even homosexual), but I don't completely agree with it either. I don't think everybody who turns out to be homosexual chooses to be homosexual, just like I don't think every straight has always been straight.

So do I believe homosexuality is a choice? Yes and no. Because sometimes it is a choice, sometimes it's not.

But the only way I can tell my parents that is by showing them the Catechism, the Catholic support group for people of other sexual orientations, and by dealing with whatever arguments come up from them. Yet, I'll first have to come up with a reason why I've brought up the subject. In other words, I might have to tell them I'm not heterosexual. I'm a bi-romantic ace (nickname for asexuals).

I'd rather deal with that later though. Right now? All I want to do is grab a nice book to read and listen to music tonight.

God bless,

Ximena